The ultimate blog of doom! Part IV!

The one where I have fun! ...reviewing the last form of GUILT... first up, Savato! Yay! Saturday! Woohoo! Savato is so! Easy! Since all it is is lacerations keep on forming and spiders come out... then you have to laser them before they start swarming or else they'll become a big bug that seriously cuts the health of your patient... bad news, huh? Oh well, stupid Angie! Wha? Oh, you'll see later... so... she's like, "Yay! Savato is so easy to kill. I guess they didn't quite finish developing it yet!" Boo hoo. Oh! I just read another Boktai/MMBN fanfic! Awesomeness! Just not as awesome as Heart of a Warrior... even better. Just not boktai... anyways... so Angie was like, "wow! Savato is easy!" so we find another person infected with Savato (not telling who it is!) anyways... it is really surprising. The bugs have become a giant spider that has its web over the heart of the afflicted! Oh noes for the last time! Anyways, the spider thingy moves way too fast for anyone to catch it, much less hit it with serum... but that's what you have to do! Hahahahaha! Oh wait... that's the unfunniest thing I have ever said in my life... *ashamed* ok, so an auto healing touch happens, and you have to activate it again to slow down time enought to kill the bug. Then, its finished. So now, I guess, its time to review the baby forms of GUILT! Starting with... Tetarti (which is really the only one that truly has a baby form, but...)! Tetarti looks like a squid! Anyway, they swim around underneath the surface of the organ, you need to ultrasound, then cut right where you think it is, then it'll come out and you have to inject it with some weird sauce. Looks like tomato sauce. Yum. After awhile, it appears to die. Good. Now excise it, rub jello all over the organ that it was poisoning, cut it in half on the tray, and drain a single drop of serum from its body. No more, no less. You only have around two minutes to complete this, btw... next is baby savato! Just tiny little bugs that suddenly make wounds and could merge into a bigger bug. Boring. Well, actually that operation was exciting because it was so fast-paced...

Blog of doom: part 3...

muahahahahahahahahaha! Now I have once again trapped you, dear reader, into reading at least the first two sentences of my nonsensical-at-times blog. Lately I have been into Trauma Center fanfiction! I have fallen into the spell of Picup's 30 Affections or whatever she calls that dribble! It is so hideously cute that I cannot have enough of it! Yet there are only around 15 ministories! I did not want it to end... *sadness* anyways, I was worried previously about my blog losing my trademarked style (patent no. 555,555,982) and becoming something boring and distasteful... but obviously not. Well, I finished with that, then I went on to Racing Against Time (can't remember that author), then Evolved Touch (from the Nsider forums, except that one isn't finished and never will be) and some other ones too crappy to write about. Well, now I suppose its time to review the next GUILT, Pempti! Yay! An unhidden GUILT! And as you know, an unhidden GUILT just makes it more difficult to kill... so be careful, ok? Since yu have to do numerous tests and puzzles before you even have the chance to take this thing on! So be careful, ok? So be careful, ok? So... alright, that's enough! Just eat some cereal, be sure to snag the hazy cells, and lazer all of the eye-looking things. And you'll be snazzy. Miss, and... I would give anything I own not to be you. Oh! I was just reading another fanfic! By I'MWARIO!!! On the Nsider forums again... anyways, it has a new strain of GUILT! Defteriaki! And its not a new way to make chicken! Too bad. Instead its the worst parts of Kyriaki and Deftera combined. I'm so glad I don't have to work with that... well, I'm sorry for those who haven't heard of FanFiction.net... because it'd be nice if they just dropped their fics there. Next in line is Friday! Whoohoo! TGIF! Well, actually not... this thing looks like an... ULTIMATE EARTHWORM!!!!!! WRAAAAAAAAA!!!! ...yeah... well, its hidden as well, but you really have to only suture 2 cuts to make it appear again... so... it appears to be invincible! Nothing can hurt it! ...until Angie goes "why don't you laser it!" killjoy! I wanted to be scared for a while more... oh well... so yeah, laser its tail, cut it in half, laser both their tails, cut them in half... oh, and btw, whenever you cut them, they cut the patient. Not cool. Not cool. You have to excise 16 little pieces before it reaches the heart! Or else you die! Oh noes for the 285th time! So paraskevi isn't bad... I guess... you just need to keep on lasering them and suturing up. Which can be tricky to finish in less than 5 minutes... whatever! One more day to review, or something... Savato and the baby GUILT! Bye for now!

Buraagu no duumu: paato tsu.

How do ya like my japanese? Great, huh? Ok. I admit it. It really sucks right now, but... it will be better! I promise! Anyways, getting back to the topic of the last part... please, no! I am not going to spin the wheel simply because I already broke it. Okay? Ok! Now, it is time for me to review the rest of the strains of GUILT before I become legally insane! Yay me! So now it is time for Triti! Oooooooooohhh... the evilest one! Mainly because it doesn't care about lime jello! By the way, Triti means Tuesday in Greek. Triti is perfectly harmless on the outside, until someones internal organs stop functioning! It is an evil membrane of doom that attaches to a random organ and tries to petrify it with spiky thingies! Oh noes again! So, what you do is try to cut the membrane off. No dice. "What about pulling the spikes out first, retard?" Call me doctor! No matter how retarded I act, call me doctor! "Ok, whatever..." Anyways, then you cut out the membrane triangle section thingies, and pull it off, or else the spikies will grow back and pin it down and you have to start all over again! Every few seconds, the membrane expands and you have to pull it off. The more organ covered, the faster your patient dies! If you are not fast enough, it will last until time runs out and you fail! Dangit! Try again... the dark purple section makes health drop faster than if a Kyriaki was attacking, so you should obviously attack that first... then a later strain causes some spikies to dissolve when you pull them out, so then you have to drain the gas, and watch helplessly as the Triti fills up all the holes you made in it! "We're running out of time!" Shut up already! Oh noooooo.... FAILED! Now to retry for the 400th time... kupo... You might not know this, but this is my least favorite strain of GUILT simply because you need to use the Healing Touch constantly during this operation, but you can only use it once... and having a patient die repeatedly is very draining, both physically, mentally, and emotionally... ...wha? You say that "both" only applies to 2 words? I'm sorry, I'm out of my mind right now. Be back in 15 minutes, okay?
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Okay! I'm back now! Yay, I'm sane again! *dances a crazy jig and falls* Next is one of my favorite GUILT: Tetarti. Tetarti is Wednesday. Wednesday is not very fun, but is a lot better than Monday or Tuesday. I guess because it's closer to the weekend... ok. Your mentor-thingy doctor comes down with this strain and everyone is sad. Boo hoo. Go home, emo surgeons... oh wait? He actually matters? Ok. So they send you around town to look for less advanced cases of Tetarti just so you can cut the little buggers open and suck a drop of juice from them with the drain. Oh, and so you can have their eternal gratefulness before the patients you just saved are sworn to complete and utter secrecy by the semi-covert government agency that you are working for now... hmm... I wonder if they participate in witness protection... so, anywho, Tetarti is a sort of squiddy looking germ. Except that you don't really see it at first. Like almost all GUILT (with the exception of Triti, Pempti, and Savato) Tetarti is hidden by its work, so naturally, once you fix the damage it caused, it comes out to KILL YOU!!!!!!!!1111111 SHIFT+1 SHIFT+1 ONEONEONE1111111 ...Or at least the patient... so what Tetarti leaves behind it are 3 swelly tumor thingies. So you have to inject the 3 different color antigens so that the tumor thingies stop growing. Then cut them out with safety scissors, color them, and give them to your mom as a mother's day present! Yay! What? I'm not in kindergarten anymore?! Oh well... so then you have to patch the holes, or else Dr. Kasal, your mentor-thingie, will pleed to death out of his liver! The ironic thing is he's a teelotaler, to boot! Poor man... well, you patch the holes, and the squiddies come out, and you have to inject them with their respective colors REALLY FAST before they hide again. That way they die and your patient doesn't. Didja know that green jello also cleans up toxins spready by this particularly nasty strain of GUILT? Yay for green jello! *runs to walmart to buy every last box before everyone else can* hahahahaha! You shall die without the magic green jello! And without the strange green injection! Although I really don't know what that stuff is... perhaps its Sonic limeade? No wonder whenever you drink it you feel all good inside! *drives over to Sonic* I want all of your limeade! And two coney dogs too! *comes back with 50 gallons* yay, yay, yay, yay! Well, I really don't need all of this tasty and germ-repellent stuff now, but... you never know... *ominous grin* well, after you nail each of the Tetarti with a couple of shots of serum, they will all DIE!!!!! And you just sew the man back up so that he won't wake up with a giant hole in his abdominal cavity. Unless you're sadistic like that... then I don't know what to do with you... *pained look* well, its time to say goodbye again, so don't be too pained to have me go, or too pleased, too... I still have 3 more GUILT to review... ok, bye for now!

New blog of doom!

Lets spin the wheel to figure out what to talk about today! *brings out a giant wheel* spin spin spin! *pulls the lever! Wheel spins fast!* oh, whatever, I already know what I want to say...*pulls an axe from behind his back and throws it at the wheel* dangit! Break already! *gets in a car and runs over it* that's better... ok. Now today I'm going to talk about the many forms of GUILT. No, not the kind you get when you argue with your significant other, the dreaded, nearly incurable disease manufactured by a fictional *gets out a white board and writes "FICTIONAL" and underlines it* bioterrorist group. Aah! Scary, right? Well, its time to review all the types! Yay! Ok. Type 1: Kyriaki! Yay! Sunday! That's what it means in Greek, anyway... whenever someone is infected with it, it produces a lot of some stupidly named chemical which causes people to become emo! Seriously. Anyways, they want to die, yadda, yadda, they get sent to the hospital for chest pain and passing-out-age... (um... yeah, need to work on those adjectives...) and when the doctor opens them up, the doctor sees all these gigantic wounds that need to be drained and pinched together before they are sutured. Oh noes! Well, whatever. This is still pretty elementary... until another laceration appears in the patient's lung! "Vitals dropping!" I know already! So, once you use ultrasound, you find a thingy! Cut the lung open, and a demonic sperm-thingy comes out! Hurry and laser it! Its scary!!!! Ok, its still pretty weak. Only 2 lasers and it dies. Thank God. But then, the mom comes out! And its so much bigger and badder than the other Kyriaki! Aah! Everytime you laser it, it makes a cut and hides again! Nooooo! Use the green awesome shot, now! Yay! The patient's not dead! You defeated the demonic sperm! ...and that's how a typical Kyriaki operation is. Next in line, is the dreaded Deftera! Woooooooo!!!! It means Monday in Greek... you KNOW its bad... well, this strain likes to keep its victims alive and fresh. At least much longer than Kyriaki does... Deftera can incubate in its victims body for up to 5 years before it kills the victim. Wow. Anyways, I assume that Deftera doesn't release the emo toxin, since those who caught the disease are as jolly as possible... o_O. Well, this surfer-doctor guy named Tyler Chase explains about this strain of GUILT, how it has two "flavours"... seriously, how is it that localization left this out? It sounds so weird! I suddenly felt a huge blast of out-of-character... anyways, that's the only british "u" that slipped by. He explains that they are two types, A and B. Pink and blue. Ok, well, the reason why he knows so much about this strain is because his supposed-to-be-cute-at-least-that's-what-the-developers-thought sister came down with this strain. Poor rebellious little girl. Well, these pink and blue tumor blobby evil sluggy things (in second opinion, they look like evil pretty little birds. Kind of creepy having pretty little birds dancing on the surface of your stomach, though...) fly, swim, something around on the surface of your stomach, lungs, liver, etc., leaving black and white tumors that you have to laser off! You can't do a thing to stop them, either, unless you care to spread some green jello, which everyone knows disease hates (haven't you ever eaten green jello when you were sick?) on the surface of the organ and hope the Deftera hates it enough to bounce off. Then when the two colors meet, they swirl around in circles and just stay there for awhile. "Hurry doctor, drain the tumor!" wha? Oh, right! Drain, drain drain, drainy drainy drain drain! Yay! I took out the color! Now they're black and white! Yippee! Wtf? What's happening!? Nooooo! They solidify and cause mayhem! Draw a star now! Cut the thingy out! Make it go awaaaaaayyyy! Phew. Its gone now. Now to take out the other one. *closes up stomach after eating all of the leftover green jello* *opens up lungs* nnnnnnnooooooooooo!!!!!!!! Two pairs!? And I ate all the green jello! And it takes 30 minutes to cook up a new batch! *an incessant stream of curses follows* *10 hours and 15 retries later* Hahahahahahahahahaha.... I finally did it... *completely insane* now, to get you! *gets slapped hard* ok, ok! I'm not insane anymore... hopefully. I just need to rest before reviewing the other GUILT... lest I actually do something that I really will regret for the rest of my life. So I'm going to finally let you go, dear reader, assuming that you actually cared enough to take the time to read my ramblings with a theme, and... I will see you later with more GUILT reviews! Yay! Ok, bye now!